You Cannot Pour From an Empty Cup
Announcer 0:00
This is a K-Unb Studios original program.
Wesley Knight 0:04
The following program is underwritten by Crawford Management Group and Chris Glow, and does not reflect the views or opinions of 91.5 Jasmine Moore, the University of Nevada Las Vegas, or the Board of Regents of the Nevada System of Higher Education.
Music 0:18
Even better than I was last time, baby, we back, and we
Announcer 0:35
back, and we back, and we back, and we back, and we
Music 0:41
back
Leaha Crawford 0:44
Hey, hey, hey, hey, we back. Welcome to Growth and Grace on KU NV 91.5 I am Leah Crawford. This
Julian Rosado 0:54
is Junior.
Leaha Crawford 0:55
Hey, we are here today. I know Julian sitting over here, you know, he said Wednesday night best game Knicks Spurs. I just want to say I told you, I want to say I told you, you didn't believe me. You didn't believe me. I told, I tried to, told you, and I want to say that was a what, 2429 point deficit.
Julian Rosado 1:16
Yeah, yeah, was
Leaha Crawford 1:17
it 24 or was it 29 I don't remember.
Julian Rosado 1:20
I think it was less.
Leaha Crawford 1:21
No, it was no, it was, it was in the 20s, the deficit that the Knicks came back from. Yeah,
Leaha Crawford 1:26
yeah, I just, I told you it's the next time, it's the next time they waited, they were patient, it's their time. I told you, Spurs gonna have, I'm telling San Antonio's gonna have their street,
Julian Rosado 1:36
yeah, they're
Leaha Crawford 1:37
gonna have their street,
Julian Rosado 1:38
yeah, just not this year, just
Leaha Crawford 1:41
not this year. Well, today y'all, we are going to talk about self care. So, the quote for the week: you cannot pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself is not a reward, it is a requirement. And I wanted to talk about self care, because I know in a lot of communities we get praised for self-sacrificing, we get praised for being dependable, we get praised for all of these things, but how do you, when you are these things, sometimes it's stressful on a person that is all these things. What you think, Julian?
Julian Rosado 2:13
How do you deal with it when it's why do some people struggle to prioritize themselves?
Leaha Crawford 2:25
Well, I can say that sometimes your identity might be tied to being needed. You ever think about that?
Julian Rosado 2:32
Say to you
Leaha Crawford 2:33
that sometimes your identity is tied to being needed, so while you think you know, you know, you're doing so many things, you're so dependable, you know, it's, it's a lot, because when people depend on you, sometimes that's stressful, you know, having, I give you an example, I mean, being just being a parent, right, so being a parent, imagine your parents, four children, all with different schedules, all doing different, well, five children, all different schedules, all different age groups, different needs, and every day having to meet those requirements of those children. God forbid, I got to go get, I got to go out and get a job, I got to go do some other, I mean, I got to go to work, I got to go, I might volunteer somewhere, I might have some commitments, I might want to go out to lunch with somebody, but I got to do all of these things and keep it together.
Julian Rosado 3:24
Yeah,
Leaha Crawford 3:25
you ever think about it like that? Never thought about it like that, right? But it gives you a different perspective, because when people start depending on you, and it's not a bad thing for people to depend on you, because I think it's good to keep your word, to be dependable, and all that other stuff, but when do you take time to take care of you?
Julian Rosado 3:44
Do you think you think you feel guilty? You think they feel guilty when they rest.
Leaha Crawford 3:50
I don't know if I can't say feeling, yeah, I think sometimes people do, and that's why they don't, right? I think they don't rest because they're looking around and they're just like, you know, what, I don't know, I feel bad that I don't want to do anything. I know for me, when I first started doing it, I was like, "Oh my god, I got so many things to do, and so one day I just said, "You want to know what it's gonna get done? And it did all get done, but it got done with me in a better place, and I was actually a little bit more effective and efficient by just taking the time, sometimes just taking the time, just to say, hey, let me pull back, you know, and I, and I would ask our listeners, you know, do you ever feel like, I mean, because Julian, we talked about burnout, we talked about burnout, right, so, and you talking about burnout, what do you do when you feel burned out?
Julian Rosado 4:42
Usually I may sound extremely corny, but I will watch, like, one of my favorite good movies. Then I go for a walk, and once I do that, just me. Memories of good times hits me, and then I start to piece together the problems that I'm having, and then I'm able to sort it out, because I forgot exactly what my therapist pasted out into in physical terms, but she said when you're walking it does something medically to you. When you're working, releases endorphins. Well, I know when you work out it releases endorphins. Yeah. And okay, so let me ask you this, have you ever
Leaha Crawford 5:36
walked to the point where, so you can feel your body feel different? Yeah, it's like you get this feeling, yeah. I mean, it's not when you first start walking, it's like maybe when you're maybe two miles in or something like that, yeah. And you, it's like even when you're working out, and you can feel it's like you feel different. It's not when you start, it's
Julian Rosado 5:52
different when you walk at night and then you walk during the daytime. Hmm, it's completely different too, yeah. Oh yeah, yeah,
Leaha Crawford 6:01
yeah. No, because I know I'm, and it's just walking, no, no, stringent, you got to do push-ups, sit-ups, not just walking,
Julian Rosado 6:08
yeah,
Leaha Crawford 6:08
just one foot in front of the other,
Julian Rosado 6:10
yeah,
Leaha Crawford 6:10
and just walk. All right, I like that. So, I know when people say, like, when people say that people are strong, right? And sometimes I wonder, you know, what does that mean? You know why? I mean, what does it mean? You know, because strong people need encouragement, they need support, they need help sometimes. And it's like, how can I show.. I mean, I'm strong, but sometimes, you know, I need to just back up, just back up, just pour into my cup.
Julian Rosado 6:42
What do you mean when people say they're strong?
Leaha Crawford 6:44
But you know, when people go through a lot of things, oh, she's been through a lot, and she's still standing, or you know, a lot of controversy, and it's like, no, but sometimes they just need, like, when people say, I need space. I give you an example. So, my son was going, you know, going through stuff with school, and he said, "Mom, I just need space. I said, "Okay, all right. So, I walked away, and later I said, "Well, what does space look like? And he said, "Well, in the morning when I wake up, I just like to sit and just look at
Julian Rosado 7:09
the wall. Made me a lot smarter than me. I wish I could say that around. Yeah, no, hey,
Leaha Crawford 7:14
I sometimes like, he's smarter than me, right? And I was like, "Wow, thought about that. So think about your routine for the day, so when you wake up in the morning, is the first thing you do is grab your phone and answer emails, is the first thing you do is to jump back into your day, or do you just sit?
Julian Rosado 7:31
Yeah, I don't go right to work once I wake up, first thing I do go, I go outside, get some coffee or some water, then walk around for a little bit, then I go right back into it.
Leaha Crawford 7:52
Okay. Now, do you take breaks during the day? I know someone told me about what they called it, they called the 120 9060 rule. Have you ever heard of that?
Julian Rosado 7:59
All
Leaha Crawford 8:00
right, so they said if you take your work day and I'm giving you this for free, right, because I paid, I paid a lot, no, I did, I paid a lot of money for him to tell me this, does this little, this little formula, so he said it's the 120 9060 plan for your work day, right, he said first of all when you go into work, he was like, you want to be present, and I want to thank Jesse, Jesse Farrell, Jesse Farrell, and I'll bring Jesse back on. Jesse's a life coach. So, Jesse said he was like, Leah, you break your day down like this, and you'll find that you're more productive. He said, you know, get yourself ready for your day. The first part of your day is two hours. He said, just get focused for two hours on whatever project you have to do, give focus, be present, dive in. He said, then after that, you know, take a break, come back and do it for 90 minutes.
Julian Rosado 8:49
Okay,
Leaha Crawford 8:50
okay, take a break, come back and do it for 60, right? Take a break, call it a day, put everything down. And he said, when you do this consistently over time you'll notice that you are becoming more productive, and I was like, "Oh, he said, because if you think about it, I know for me, when you know, when I don't like to work when I'm tired, because I make mistakes, and when really
Leaha Crawford 9:14
I noticed that, I noticed that years ago, this is
Julian Rosado 9:17
rushing,
Leaha Crawford 9:17
this is years ago, because you're rushing, you're not paying attention to the detail, you're not, you know, because you're tired, so you want to
Julian Rosado 9:23
hurry it up, so you're half doing stuff right.
Leaha Crawford 9:25
Well, half doing stuff right. And for me, it is okay. So, how do I get in the mindset to focus for the two hours, bang it out, and then I don't have to worry about it, worry about it anymore, because it's done. But he called it the, the 129 20 9060 rule, and when I started doing that, and then I shared it with another one of my girlfriends, who was working, she was like, "Oh my god, Leah, I, she said, "I just became more productive because I wasn't all over the place, you know, I wasn't, you know, a little bit of this, a little bit. That you know, and then with the phones for me, it was, you know, stopping in the middle of the day to take a phone call, so when I'm in those spurts, I, unless I need to ask somebody something or get something from somebody, I put my phone on do not disturb, and then during the day, either before my day or after my day is a concentrated time when I'm on the phone and I just respond and answer emails and phone calls, and I felt bad at first, because I'm like, you know, when people call you, you want to respond quickly, and he said it to me real easily. He said, "Who paid the phone bill? You were there, I said, "I do. He said, "Right, it's for your convenience, right? And he said, "It's not. He said, "Lea, don't think about it being selfish because you want to show up as the best you every time. Yeah, I gotta bring him back on, so he can, he can go through it, because he would just.. he would break it down. He was like, "Because you want to always give the best version of you. But what does the best version of three, when
Julian Rosado 11:00
you receive a text, right? Do you respond right away?
Leaha Crawford 11:04
Not always. Depends on where I am.
Julian Rosado 11:06
Yeah.
Leaha Crawford 11:06
Now, if I'm sitting somewhere and I'm not doing, I do.
Julian Rosado 11:09
Yeah,
Leaha Crawford 11:09
but if I'm not, when I get around to it, it's been times I've opened my phone and I've had about 30 texts.
Julian Rosado 11:15
Wow.
Leaha Crawford 11:15
And when I go, and I go through the 30 texts to see what I, what I should and should not respond
Julian Rosado 11:20
to. Yeah,
Leaha Crawford 11:20
you know, and the way your phone system, the way our phone systems are set up, like I told, I had to tell my talk to my staff, what we're doing is not life threatening, we're not doctors, right? So it's not like if I don't answer your call, you won't die,
Julian Rosado 11:35
but it feels like it,
Leaha Crawford 11:36
but I don't answer you, I promise you, you're not, I promise, I promise you, if I don't answer, are you not? You're not, you're not so.. and when I.. and I hate to look at it, take it from that perspective, because it's like you want to give your best version of you at all times, and how do you do that?
Julian Rosado 11:56
Yeah,
Leaha Crawford 11:57
that way you don't have to apologize, you know. I am very.. I've learned, like, I used to meet people that were very particular about their time, and whatever they did, you know, they're.. they were very particular about their schedules and time, and I was like, 'Oh, that's kind of.. you know, I want to be available for everybody. That was like, Leah, you can't be, because when do you take time to take care of yourself? Because the cost of ignoring you is burnout, like I know people, you know, they go on a lot, and when they get burned out, so what? So, what does burnout look like? Burnout sometimes is a stroke, burnout sometimes could be a heart attack, burnout could be you're just going high blood pressure, right, that you're going and going and going and going, and when those things happen, you know you're forced to sit down,
Julian Rosado 12:43
yeah, yeah.
Leaha Crawford 12:44
So, why not just sit down just because you want to?
Julian Rosado 12:47
Yeah, because I know a lot of young CEOs, they're just like, "No, it's there's no end, you know? I'll, I'll stop when I'm dead, yeah. But the thing
Leaha Crawford 12:57
about it is,
Julian Rosado 12:58
you will burn out,
Leaha Crawford 13:00
you will, you will, and you do burn out, but like the warning signs, when you're constantly exhausted, exhausted, when you have anxiety, when you have difficulty concentrating, when you don't find joy in anything.
Julian Rosado 13:13
Yeah,
Leaha Crawford 13:13
when you have health challenges,
Julian Rosado 13:14
that's that's the major one. Yeah,
Leaha Crawford 13:16
yeah, yeah. But I say, you know, a lot of us still function while we're suffering, so I'm not saying you can't function, but what about if you figured out what self care for you looks like? What really brings you joy and makes you happy? Well, for you, Julian, what really brings you joy and makes you happy?
Julian Rosado 13:37
See, I'm simple, I mean, just like going to the movies, you know, eating, yeah, that's that's about it. I'm just, just a really simple, you know, I think just like when those days, like when you're a business owner, when you find out what just those days that there is no major problems, you know that's a really good day. No, like, I have no really bad emails. Everybody's happy, you know, everything's working out. I'm real, everything is working out really good.
Leaha Crawford 14:16
Well, I
Julian Rosado 14:17
think I may go to the movie today. Well, the other thing is, is it? Is it well, the other thing is, is it is
Leaha Crawford 14:22
it going to bed on time? Like, for me, it is like everyone that knows me know I go to bed, they know
Julian Rosado 14:28
you go to bed on time, I go, I
Leaha Crawford 14:30
go to bed, I'm in bed asleep no later, no later than 10 o'clock.
Julian Rosado 14:34
Oh, really? Every
Leaha Crawford 14:36
night I start getting ready for bed at eight,
Julian Rosado 14:37
I'm a nine, I'm
Leaha Crawford 14:38
your night out, right?
Julian Rosado 14:40
You, you will text me, and be like, why the hell you doing up, right? Every, every once in a while, every, every once in a while, something happened, and right, you don't
Leaha Crawford 14:50
often hear from me in the middle, yeah, but I know you're not like taking walks, yeah, so I found joy in taking walks, and I like to walk in the morning,
Julian Rosado 14:58
yeah, you know, I
Leaha Crawford 14:59
don't. Turn my phone off, but I do put it on silent.
Julian Rosado 15:03
Okay, I do
Leaha Crawford 15:03
put it on silent, saying no. Yeah, so I've learned it's a power.
Julian Rosado 15:09
Yeah, it's a power. Yeah, one thing I struggled, I learned that through therapy. I don't know, people pleaser. Yeah,
Leaha Crawford 15:15
yeah, but sometimes saying no,
Julian Rosado 15:17
yeah, it is. It is rough. It is rough saying, saying no, you know,
Leaha Crawford 15:22
but asking for help when you need help, asking for it.
Julian Rosado 15:25
Yeah,
Leaha Crawford 15:25
no, really asking for it, and going to therapy, you know. You go to there, I've been in therapy, yeah, and sometimes that does help, you know. Sometimes spending, you know, praying and meditating,
Julian Rosado 15:33
yeah, those
Leaha Crawford 15:33
little things that you can do, and protecting your peace, like what does peace look like for you? And that's, and that could be convoluted, right? So we always talk about having a peaceful house, right? Just peace in you, but what does it look like? You know, does it look like a big television? No, you like to watch, you like movies. So is it a big television with Netflix and Hulu and all the things, and just being able to watch movies at will, does that bring you peace? You know, is it having some people, it's out, they like a clean, immaculate space, so if it's stuff all over the place, they're not at peace, because they got to put everything in its place, you know. Is it quiet? Some people like music in the background, you might like to have it, you know, you had to jazz and you get to jazz or country or rock, you know, whatever it is. What is it that brings you peace?
Julian Rosado 16:24
I think it's mostly the smell. I love smells, yeah. And that's important
Leaha Crawford 16:29
too, right? When you walk into the house, I
Julian Rosado 16:30
noticed, like, I was taking the trash out the other day, I was like, there's a lot of Febreze Bob, like, man, this is a little bit too much money on, well, okay, but if that
Leaha Crawford 16:42
is so, if the scent is very important to you, yeah, then when you walk into a space, so you like walking into some of the hotels, because when you walk, yeah, you smell, and the scent just,
Julian Rosado 16:52
yeah,
Leaha Crawford 16:53
that's your, you know,
Julian Rosado 16:56
hotel, it was in South Carolina, oh, it was the Charleston Hotel, so somewhere I forget what, can't remember which one it was. It smelled so immaculate, and I think that just embedded in me so much. I was like, man, I love this so much. Yeah,
Leaha Crawford 17:18
yeah, I mean, but it's different, right?
Julian Rosado 17:20
Yeah, yeah,
Leaha Crawford 17:21
right. And sometimes I think people look at self-care as being selfish,
Julian Rosado 17:25
yeah.
Leaha Crawford 17:26
How you, how you feel about that? You think when you take care of you, what do you think? What do you think?
Julian Rosado 17:33
No, no, it's anything that what you do involving yourself that benefits everybody else, so you're saying it has a, it has a
Leaha Crawford 17:44
trickle down, yeah,
Julian Rosado 17:46
trickle down effect, yeah, yeah, because you may not realize it, but everybody's looking at you, everybody is, everybody is affected by what you give off, what you do, everybody is, so what do you think about
Leaha Crawford 18:01
boundaries
Julian Rosado 18:02
by what boundaries?
Leaha Crawford 18:06
Just having bad boundaries, so you knowing what your peace feels like, you have boundaries, so you know that if you are disrupting my peace, I'm going to, you know, I don't, I don't want to deal, no. Oh, I deal with a little bit, but if this gonna disrupt my peace, I'm good.
Julian Rosado 18:26
Oh, yeah. As long as it stayed there early, you know. Just as long as you're you, you, you make this known from the jump, you know? Like, hey, do this is where our relationship ends, begins. begins here. I
Leaha Crawford 18:43
mean, with anything like we know when we do our radio show, it's during this time. Yeah, so it's boundaries, because we can't just come here and say, 'Well, we missed our, you know, we missed our show, so we want to do it at 11 o'clock.
Julian Rosado 18:53
Yeah, the
Leaha Crawford 18:54
boundaries say that, you know, our show is slated to go on at this time. Yeah, and we have to respect those boundaries. Yeah,
Leaha Crawford 19:01
you know, so do you think that? Because I think some people might see boundaries as rejection.
Julian Rosado 19:07
Yeah, I noticed that too with the younger generation, you know. It may be terrible to say, but they feel they feel that it's. it's terrible to do that,
Leaha Crawford 19:21
to do what
Julian Rosado 19:22
to have boundaries, have boundaries, have boundaries. You probably know, I got boundaries,
Leaha Crawford 19:33
so I know certain things I'm not doing, and I don't, I don't, I don't budge. You know, it was, it's interesting
Julian Rosado 19:40
with younger people, you notice this, it's like, hey, my gosh, you cutting me off at this time, I am, I am cutting you off right now, and not
Leaha Crawford 19:50
meanly, because you can do it in a healthy way when you set, because I believe in, like, setting when you, when I deal with people, like when we, like, when. Deal with our clients, we do. We've learned to do everything under contract, and the reason why we do that, have a writing of it, is I don't want you to assume that I'm doing something that I'm not.
Julian Rosado 20:10
Yeah,
Leaha Crawford 20:10
so I'm going to write down explicitly what I am doing. We can talk about it, and if it's anything that changes, then we amend this, so that we both understand what we're doing,
Julian Rosado 20:20
yeah.
Leaha Crawford 20:21
And I think that, well, I know, because my son says it to me. He was like, 'Mom, I don't.. I didn't know that you wanted me to do that. I asked you, I know I told you what I wanted. I explained to you how I wanted it done. Now, if you want to change that, let me know that you know communication. So, I believe in healthy communication and being able to talk to people.
Julian Rosado 20:44
Yeah,
Leaha Crawford 20:45
what is the question you think that people rarely ask when they're talking about self care?
Julian Rosado 20:51
I think it's mostly pertaining to each individual. I think they are really just shy of showing their vulnerabilities, got it,
Leaha Crawford 21:07
and that's another key, vulnerable being vulnerable.
Julian Rosado 21:09
Yeah,
Leaha Crawford 21:10
well, I
Julian Rosado 21:11
like, like, just now on the radio, I just showed, I said that I am, I like going to the movies, I said that I'm a people pleaser. I said that, like, you know, and people who are listening probably, probably just thinking, like, oh man, this guy's, you know, he's soft, or isn't it like, no, no, no, I'm 40 plus years old, like, when you get to this age, you, you know who you are, right? You know what I mean, but do
Leaha Crawford 21:40
you think sometimes looking in the mirror and being, because being who you, that's who you are. Yeah, and if you want to change, you can change that. Guess what, it's a no, I'm just saying, because I hear people, I mean, because two questions, what else can I do, or what do I need, and I think sometimes when you're talking about self-care, just sitting down and saying, you know, what do I need, what do I like, not what everybody is telling me to like, right, because people tell you, you know, you should have a nice house, you should have this kind of car, you should have this, you should have that, but what do you like, what do you need?
Julian Rosado 22:23
Yeah,
Leaha Crawford 22:24
you know, and really sitting down with you, and then understanding what brings you peace, and how you do it.
Julian Rosado 22:34
Yeah,
Leaha Crawford 22:34
no,
Julian Rosado 22:35
yeah,
Leaha Crawford 22:36
but one thing I hope people can take from today's conversation is that taking care of you is your responsibility, that is your responsibility, and how do you take care of you?
Julian Rosado 22:49
And
Leaha Crawford 22:49
then what does that look like for you, for you, you know, we can have the external factors, like it's amazing when your team is winning, or you know, and it, you know, everybody's happy and stuff like that, but how do you take care of you?
Julian Rosado 23:07
Yeah,
Leaha Crawford 23:08
you know what you think.
Julian Rosado 23:09
Yeah, my therapist said anytime that you're the best way to start is to put headphones in, don't put no music on. Go for a walk, that's it. Make sure it's not too hot, not too cold. Just go for a walk, make sure, and go, go, go to the
Leaha Crawford 23:30
mall. Go to the mall, and go for a walk.
Julian Rosado 23:32
But no, no, you want to go in the area where it's not too distracting. Do you know what I mean? No, the
Leaha Crawford 23:38
mall in the morning, before the people, okay? The mall in the morning before people get there, yeah. Because the thing about it is, is that look at yourself as a cup and you're pouring into you,
Julian Rosado 23:48
okay?
Leaha Crawford 23:48
And you're giving yourself, you know, she's just telling you ways that you can take care of yourself,
Julian Rosado 23:53
okay? Yeah, you can take yourself,
Leaha Crawford 23:55
you know,
Julian Rosado 23:56
yeah. And when I started to do that, you know, I was working some endorphins out, but you know, I started to process my thoughts a lot, a lot better
Leaha Crawford 24:07
when you really started walking and really started taking care of you, and then when you process your thoughts better,
Julian Rosado 24:12
yeah,
Leaha Crawford 24:12
right, your reaction to stuff is different,
Julian Rosado 24:14
yeah, yeah, right,
Leaha Crawford 24:16
but you,
Julian Rosado 24:17
I noticed you, you find yourself laughing at yourself, yeah, all the time, laughter, but you wanna know
Leaha Crawford 24:23
what laughter is huge,
Julian Rosado 24:25
yeah, laughter is huge,
Leaha Crawford 24:26
laughter is huge. All right, well, you've been listening to Growth and Grace. I'm Leah Crawford.
Julian Rosado 24:30
This is Julian Rosado.
Leaha Crawford 24:31
And until next week, until next week, peace and blessings, y'all. Remember, pour into your own cup. Bye.
Julian Rosado 24:38
Lover.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
